Hey, it's NOVEMBER!

Well, guess what sneaked up on me, and tried to creep on past. Yup, my very favorite month of the entire year!

I've been thinking about how such a terrible thing could have happened. I have several outrageous excuses reasonable explanations.

1. I celebrated my birthday for almost an entire week. It's the year before what the card industry humorously calls a "landmark birthday" (i.e., I'll be changing both numbers of my age, like, oh, 19 to 20, or 29 to 30), so when my splendid pals offered me the chance for lotsa fun, I took it. It was great!

2. I had revisions on my last book. I know, I know. You are ever so surprised, aren't you? I had revisions! Well, my darlings, every book has revisions. At least that's what they tell me. *chews fingernails nervously* You don't suppose they'd---LIE to me, do you?

3. There's this NaNoWriMo thing going on that I signed up for. Unless I write like the very wind, there's a very good chance that I won't get to 50,000 words by the end of the month. I also have this thing called a JOB that requires my presence and attention 8 hours every day, and a family that also requires my presence and attention 37 hours a day. I am a bit busy.

4. I had a lot of Halloween candy that had to be eaten. Hey, somebody has to do it, and you know me. I'm a step-up-to-the-plate kind of gal, and although I know the metaphor is baseball, let's face it. Most of us are stepping up to the plate at the table. That's what November is all about!

5. Thanksgiving! I plan to watch tv, write, and eat, not necessarily in that order, and not necessarily all at the same time, although let's face it, I will. I'm all about time management, and the most effective way to proceed through my busy life is to multitask. Thanksgiving is ideal for that.

6. I'm also very busy with counting my blessings. And there are many. Many.

Oct. 31 means----

This is the last day of October. It's a wildly important day!

Halloween. I am prepared for it. I bought bags and bags of Halloween candy. Now, a logical person might point out that last year I got 4 trick-or-treaters so this might be a bit of overspending on my part, but last year the porch light wasn't working, and--oh, who am I kidding? I need it because it's also the last day before....

NaNoWriMo. How can I write a book without the proper amount of snackiness? Do you really think that this brain works on broccoli and brown rice? I hardly think so. I have to come up with a plot really quickly, in like *consults clock* 11 hours and 25 minutes! Or maybe not. Maybe I have 12 hours and 25 minutes. Who knows? Because tonight is the start of....

Daylight savings time. Or is it daylight saving time? I never know if there's an s in there, just like I never remember if we spring forward or back, or fall forward or back. Back in my springing day, I could spring forward or back, just like I have fallen forwards or back. This has never helped me with DST. What I need to know is simply this: Do I get an extra hour? I do? Good! I need it because after October 31 comes....

November. I love November. My birthday! Thanksgiving! And NaNoWriMo in full swing!

Let's give Oct. 31 a big hug today. It deserves it!

NaNoWriMo preparations

I'm starting to get ready for NaNoWriMo. It starts in ONE WEEK! And here's what I've done:

*I've figured out which book I'm going to write! This isn't as simple as it might seem. My brain is full of shelves and hooks and tables piled full of ideas. Some are noiser and pushier than others, but that doesn't make them better--necessarily. So I have to look at each one separately, and this is where I get in trouble because I fall in love with them all over again. But one persevered, clamored the most, and was pretty cool, so I chose it.

*I've got the beginning! And the ending! Now I just have to figure out that pesky middle stuff, like who does what when and where and why and how. You know, the details. Okay, not the details. The good old basic plot. This book I chose to write had better get busy in my brain and start laying itself out. Sheesh. Do I have to do EVERYTHING myself?

*These characters need names. I am all over the map on naming my heroine. Nothing seems to quite fit her. I will consult a name book. Hopefully something will leap out of the pages and into my brain. I'm choosing Josh for the guy because I am all about Destination Truth, which is an awesome show on SyFy and I think Josh is smart and funny and cute.

There. Pretty productive weekend, wouldn't you say? Plus I shopped like crazycakes at a couple of BIG HUGE MALLS in Minnesota which was fun but now my entryway is filled with shopping bags I have to unpack and laundry that needs to be done. It's always something, isn't it? And thanks to Harry and David, the best store in the world for snacky food, I'm all set for stuff to eat and type my way through November.

ONWARD!

Of Hamsters and Hoovers and Nanowrimo

You know those hamster wheels, the ones that the little critters get in and run like crazy and go nowhere?

Cue the metaphor music. Doesn't that kind of seem like LIFE?

But sometimes it's not quite right. Sometimes it *does* go places, and things get accomplished.

My book is done, and the deep copyedits are done. The writers conference I was the head chick for is done, and it went quite well, I think. I'm look ing forward to doing it next year, too.

Things are quite productive at work and I am never bored.

My house looks like monkeys have been living in it, though, and I have to fix that soon. Shouldn't be a problem. I am ROLLING in free time, right?

Here's the deal: Everybody gets exactly the same amount of time in each day. But something happens to mine. Somehow it gets vacuumed up by the big cosmic Hoover and my seconds, minutes, and hours end up in a canister with goldfish crackers, cat hair, and odd dusty things that nobody knows what they are.

(Aside: I really don't understand why, when the massive Hoover is collecting up all my precious time, it can't take a quick tour down the hall and around the couch. Those two places could really use a quick run-over.)

So, finally my life inhales and exhales and all is good. Everything I've been putting off, I can get it done NOW! Soon! YES! Oh, it will be beautiful!

Until my friend Kacie says, ever so sweetly, "Janet, let's do Nanowrimo," and I'm gone.

For those who don't know what Nanowrimo is, let me explain. For one month, you write like crazycakes and get a book done. Now, that's not at all undoable and I know this from--ahem--personal experience. That was a long time ago and I'm a wiser writer now.

Sure.

Anyway, the goal is to do a book in a month and the deal is that EVERYBODY in the world is doing it. And when I say EVERYBODY I am not exaggerating, not even a tiny bit. EVERYBODY.

Or maybe everybody who's ever thought:
1. This book is dog drivel. I can do better.
OR
2. I have the BEST IDEA EVER for a book!
OR
3. I need to be rich. I will write a novel.

I'm adding one more:
4. Kacie told me to.

I just have to come up with a plot. No problem. I have, like, two weeks!
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG????

Useful suggestions

I know how much everyone enjoys it when I make suggestions for how to improve things. The universe needs my input, and I have marvelous ideas. So far I've covered ill-fitting sheets, bad drivers, and books in need of copy editors.

Today I'm tackling the very difficult problem of ELECTRICAL CORDS. Before you start emailing, texting, Twittering, or commenting with helpful hints about re-using cardboard tubes from paper towels or toilet paper to stow cords, or how a twist tie can tame an unruly bunch of cords, let me explain.

I mean the cords themselves.

Here it is: Why on earth, in a world filled with technological marvels, does almost every electrical appliance that I might MOVE from one spot or another have to have a cord that comes in two parts? The very act of moving anything that has more than one piece almost guarantees that I will lose at least some part of it.

The Kindle was sidelined for a while until we found the missing bit of its two-piece cord. The missing link was the size of a thick matchbook. It might as well be a microdot when it gets loose in my car or slithers down the side of the couch or vanishes under someone's bed.

The laptop's cord is in two pieces, but I always keep it hooked together--am I committing some kind of electrical crime? If I want to tote it with me, I suppose I might want to separate them, but usually I'm not taking it somewhere. Usually I'm, well, using it!

Why must these cords be in two pieces? Why? Okay, okay, okay. Different electricities or something? I'm not buying it. If there is some real reason (*snort*) for the cord to be in two different pieces, can't they put a strip of plastic connecting the two? Do I have to think of everything?

See how easily I've solved this problem with one little suggestion? I am going to go to the store, get myself a roll of packing tape, and tape these suckers together.

How simple the solution!

Now, off to think about how else I can improve this world we live in.

(You're welcome.)

Hello, September! What do YOU have in store?

My last post concluded with my list of things I wanted to do. Did I get them all accomplished?

Well, um, gee, let's see...NO!

I did get the book done (although that slid into September, thanks to a bout with some tummy bug). My toes are tipped with a lovely shade of purple. Ice cream and I-love-you's to my kids? Done.

Saturday Market--done (although I realized calling it Saturday Market is a remnant of my Oregon days; here it's called the Farmers Market, although it's more than that). Felt the sun on my shoulders, for a minute or two.

Not long enough for a sunburn. No movies although I'm holding out hope that my schedule will exhale long enough for me to get to one.

I didn't get the house cleaned. No garage sale. No knitting. No tv. No strawberries. No French class. No book in the backyard while guzzling iced tea.

Let's see if I can get any of this done in September! You just never know.

Summertime blues

Summertime is--well, it's one of those things in life that never seems to quite live up to its hype. It's full of promise but lately it hasn't been coming through at all well.

It seems like summer is when the you-know-what hits the fan, and why wouldn't it be? It's summer! The fans are on!

I haven't blogged in almost 2 months. And here's what's happened:
1. I had surgery that I'm not recovering from the way I'd hoped. I'm giving up.
2. The plumbing in my house--oh, sigh.
3. This is the worst: a woman died. Not just any woman, but one whom I'd known for almost 40 years, one who gave me my husband, one who loved me. My life has a huge hole in it now, with only memories to fill it in.

There's a month left in summer. I'm going to try to redeem those last 31 days. I'm going to go to the Saturday Market. I'm going to feel the sun on my shoulders and get a sunburn. I'm going to sit in the back yard and read a book and drink iced tea. I'm going to see a movie, preferably one with Johnny Depp in it, and I don't care what the reviews are.

I'm going to clean my house, every single room, and then I'm going to have a garage sale. I'm going to knit a scarf. I'm going to watch TV, and I'm going to take my kids out for ice cream, and I'm going to tell them I love them.

I'm going to finish the long-overdue book that I'm writing, and then I'm not going to write for the rest of the month. I'm going to eat a whole thing of strawberries by myself. I'm going to paint my toenails purple. I'm going to sign up for French class.

But here's what I'm NOT going to do: I'm not standing in front of any fan!!!