Sunday, February 21, 2010

The thrilling days of yesteryear???

A long time ago I had boyfriends. That was, of course, before I became Mrs. Spaeth, which ended all that kind of stuff. (There are a lot of benefits to marriage. Not having to deal with any more boyfriends is right at the top of that list.)

The other evening some friends and I were indulging in reminiscing about old boyfriends. Interestingly, we'd all given the heave-ho to guys who'd gone on to great wealth (and, in one case, fame). What this says about us, I don't know, but it's interesting. Well, it was to me.


We had a great time, drinking wine and talking about The Boys We Left Behind. Oh dear ex-boyfriends, wouldn't you like to hear that we miss you? That we made a horrendous error in judgment when we said it was over? That our lives have been sad, sodden messes without you?

Ain't gonna happen.

No, we all said, "Whew! Dodged *that* bullet!"

And then we went on to talk about something that was much more compelling. Thanks to the internet and idle curiosity (rarely a good combination but it has its moments), we'd located the Ex-Bs. So we wondered: Should we contact them? Why? What would we say? A HUGE part of us wanted to say something very mature and adult, you know, along the lines of, "Neener, neener, neener! Look at me now!"

I don't know. I have no interest in beginning a new--what would it be? friendship?--with my ex-fiance. He's got a family. So do I. And luckily they're not the same. (Did I just say that?) (Was it too mean?) (Nah.) He's 180 degrees from me politically and religously, things I take very seriously.

Plus he wasn't the rich guy. (Okay, that was snarky.)

So the question du jour for you, precious reader, is this: Have you ever looked up an old boyfriend online? Did you contact him? And how did it all end?

Inquiring (and snoopy) minds want to know.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day

I like Valentine's Day a lot. The colors are perfect for the last holiday of winter: cherry red and strawberry pink and bright vanilla white. They're the opposite of the colors that ushered winter in--the fall palette of butterscotch and pumpkin and caramel (okay, I am teeny bit hungry).

This holiday celebrates love, and I like that. It's important. The more that we struggle against people who just can't get along--whether it's war or bullying or a simple argument--the more we need the solid glow of love to keep us on an even keel.

How are you celebrating Valentine's Day? Remember the four kinds of love: Eros, Philia, Storge, and Agape. It's not necessary (though nice, very very nice) to have a snuggle-bunny on February 14th and celebrate Eros. You could call a parent or a sibling or your children, and revel in Storge love. Tell your friends how much they enrich your life in honor of Philia. Perhaps you'll celebrate Agape love, and donate to the Red Cross so that those in Haiti might know a better tomorrow.

It's not a bad idea, you know.

The Beatles said it so well: The love you take is equal to the love you make.