Sunday, December 27, 2009

Why I should proofread my clothes, or ERAUQS EMIT

I love clothes that have words on them, possibly because I'm a writer. But I have a terrible history with these clothes.

1. When we went to South Dakota in 1997, it was amazingly hot so I wanted to buy another sleeveless top. Luckily it was right after the Sturgis rally, so there were tshirts of all kinds on sale for practically nothing. I'm not a motorcyclist so I didn't expect to find anything, but lo and behold, there was a lovely burgundy colored sleeveless top with a rose on the front, and it was edged with lace. In my size! For like $2! So I bought it and wore it. And wore it. And wore it. We were in Bismarck, ND, on our way home, and a fellow stopped me in the motel lobby and said something about Sturgis. I was astonished! Was he psychic? No! It turns out that my lovely tshirt had something, well, motorcycle-ish on the back. None of us had noticed it for all that time. As my dh pointed out, considering what some of the other tshirts we saw had on them, we should just consider me lucky on this one.

2. Pajama pants were all the rage when my son was about 10, so I headed off to the local discount store and bought him several pairs with cute pictures of surfboards and popsicles. About 2 weeks later, after my son had worn them to his friends' houses, my dh said to me, "Janet, did you READ those pants?" I won't say here what the words were, but suffice it to say, NOT appropriate for a 10 year old! My son loves that story.

3. My daughter danced in the Nutcracker with an international ballet company and they sold sweatshirts to commemorate the event. I got it, put it on, wore it proudly--Why, yes, my daughter danced with the Moscow Ballet!--until someone said, "Doesn't 'December' have an M in it?" You got it. It was spelled DECEBER. I couldn't wear it after that. And no, they wouldn't reprint or give me my money back. Not everybody appreciates the importance of spelling.

4. I love NYC. I have friends there, and my dh was born there and I have been there many times. So when a certain company came out with a top that celebrated NYC, I bought it. I hadn't worn it, but yesterday was a NYC sort of day in my mind, so I put it on and wore it. At the end of the day, I went in to brush my teeth and saw, in the mirror: ERAUQS EMIT. Yes! ERAUQS EMIT! I was horrified! TIME SQUARE! It is not TIME SQUARE! It's TIMES SQUARE! I cannot wear this thing! It's all over the top: TIME SQUARE. TIME SQUARE. TIME SQUARE. I have emailed the store and asked for my money back.

Sigh. From now on, I'm writing my own clothes.


Carm said...

Hilarious! :)

My dad inadvertently bought pajama bottoms that had the Superman logo all over them and was teased mercilessly by a family friend's 8 year old... so, Wesley, you think you're Superman? :) My dad was rather sheepish.

Pattie said...

That is really funny that all of that would happen to one person!

Wildspirit said...

You made me smile and chuckle and since I know the family... it was even better! Deanna (now in Seattle)

Kacie said...

Too funny, Janet! :)

Janet Spaeth said...

Carm: Maybe your dad IS Superman? Did you ever think of that? HUH? Just because you've never seen him soar over tall buildings doesn't mean anything. We live in ND--there *are* no tall buildings!

Pattie: I suppose you could call it 'funny.' I go for TRAGIC myself! :)

DEANNA: OH! I MISS YOU!!! I know you're out there brightening often-dark Seattle Sunday mornings but I MISS YOU!!!

Kacie: This week there was a sign that was all over campus that had the word "STAGGARING" on it. I edited it (with the comment, "NO!!!!") every time I saw it. I take English *very* seriously. Or I'm obsessive. It's a toss-up.