Obligatory post about the weather

I had to chuckle last night when I saw that Yahoo! had two news items spotlighted.

One was a newscast about how deadly the cold was and how horrible it was that people were exposed to it in their jobs. The temperature they were talking about? 20 degrees. ABOVE zero.

The other was about the cold that was sweeping the midwest, and yes, even my community was mentioned for its notable freeziness. Our temperature? 37 degrees. BELOW zero.

20 degrees above zero sounds pretty tropical right about now. That's 57 degrees warmer than we are. And no, nothing closes when it's 37 below. I still have to walk from my car to work. That's about a block. Schools are in session, and some children walk home from school. The mall is open. The grocery store is open. Nothing closes.

I like to say that up here, our blood doesn't flow--it chugs. We're a hardy bunch up here. Or a totally nutso bunch???

Cute, cute, cute

A couple of days ago I couldn't find anything on late-night tv to watch (imagine that!) and ended up watching listening to one of those entertainment shows where they revisit celebrity news. The only reason I kept the show on was the lure of "cute things falling asleep." Every commercial break was preceded and ended by the promise that they were going to talk about this wonderful website.

Finally they did, but I had to watch listen to a lot of booooooooring stuff first. However, it was so worth it.

I admit it. I'm a sucker for babies or kittens or puppies anyway. And here's a site where you can watch short videos of children and animals conking out.

www.cutethingsfallingasleep.org

Sleepy Baby 10 is by far my favorite.

It's a great site for when you want a quick chuckle.

Tabula Rasa

Tabula rasa--it's a concept I learned about in philosophy and education, and I really liked it from the moment I first heard of it. We start with a blank slate and experience writes upon it.

Well, theoretically our slates should get fuller as we get older. But you know how it is: some people gets their slates filled faster than others. Some people have a lot of cross-outs on theirs (can't erase on your slate, sorry). Some people seem to have basically empty slates.

The writing on my slate crisscrosses and is edited and re-edited and is marked with lots of doodles. And the ink is probably magenta. I like magenta ink.

Anyway, I've decided I need to learn some more stuff--to get more writing on my slate--so I checked out the offerings in community education.

Oh, WOW!

Knitting! Well, of course I already knit but I am a total inept when it comes to changing skeins. I'd spend my entire life doing one skein projects just to avoid changing skeins. So here's a class in basic knitting. I hope I'll learn how to change skeins. And maybe find a way to do double-pointed needles without looking like a buffoon.

Felting! I love felted things. Here's a class in it. I'll be able to make those cute felted hats and purses!

Plumbing! I know nothing about plumbing but plumbing knows about me. It seems like whenever there's a plumbing emergency, it's at midnight on a holiday weekend. Wouldn't it be nice if I knew how to at least turn the water off? There's a one-night class in the basics of plumbing. The teachers seem to cover it all--in one night. I'm excited!

Pottery! I can't wait to dig my hands in some slimy gooey clay and make a breath-taking pottery masterpiece. I know I have some incredible talent that will be released in this class. Think of all the years I focused on POETRY when it should have been POTTERY. Stupid dyslexia.

So by the time spring rolls around, my tabula will no longer be so rasa. There'll be lots more stuff written on it--in magenta ink, of course.

Caffeinated Janet

I knew it. I knew I shouldn't have. It was after 3 pm--as a matter of fact, it was 7 pm. But the coffee smelled SO good and the company was SO good and the gossip was SO good, I couldn't help myself: Yes, I'd love a cup!

So far I've done this:
1. Wandered hither and yon on the internet.
2. Put new flannel sheets on the bed--wrestled a pillow into a pillowcase clearly meant for, oh, a pair of socks or something.
3. Looked at some stuff that needs to be sorted through, but sorting through is so, you know, inert.
4. Thought about exercising, but the flannel sheets thing was worth a good two hours of cardio. I mean, honestly, what is with new flannel sheets and those teeny tiny pillowcases? Can they make it any more difficult to put clean sheets on a bed?
5. Looked at the dishes. Ick.
6. Folded up old blankets to take to Hugo's for the Humane Society drop.
7. Cracked myself up because I originally typed Human Society drop. If only....
8. Wondered where my knitting project is. Wondered what my knitting project is.
9. Eyed my book. Could I sit long enough to read?
10. Thought about MY book. It's due in 20-something days. Too caffeinated to think about it.

I give up! I need help. What do YOU do when you're caffeinated?

What I'm giving for Christmas--ADVICE!

Yes, I'm giving advice for Christmas. Here it is, in handy-dandy list form in case you want to print it out and take it with you.

1. If you're a singer and you feel the need to record a Christmas carol, please remember this: Rarely does a well-known melody benefit from being slowed down (I just heard "Sleigh Ride" sung so slowly it was almost a lullaby--I'm sure the horses pulling that sleigh are sound asleep) or with variations on the rhythms that make the song just silly ("Jinnnnnnngle bells, jinnnnnnnnngle bells, jinnnnnnnngle allllll the way-ay-ay-ay"). If in doubt, ask me. I'll tell you.

2. If you really feel you're smarter than anybody else, keep it to yourself. I've had another encounter with Miss Snip, who's once again been dismissively rude to me. Honey, all God's children are equal! I'll just attribute it to the fact that you're half as old as I am--and half as nice. This time of year, we all ought to have on our Christmas spirit as if it were a sequin-sparkled sweater, right out there where everyone can see it. After Christmas, put the sweater away and keep the spirit out.

3. Think before you speak. Think before you email. Think before you act. Hey, in general, just think! That's actually going back on my own resolution list for the New Year.

4. Shop early. Mail early. Thus says the woman who spent over $60 to send one package out.

5. Write stuff down. This is good if you have a memory as flaky as a fresh-baked croissant (like moi) or if you're a writer (like moi). Those books don't write themselves.

6. Keep your promises. I mean, seriously. Do it. That includes anything from saying I'll be there at 5:00--and showing up at 5:00, not 5:15 (Note to self: Put on resolution list!) to signing book contracts with deadlines (Ditto on the resolution list thing).

7. Compliments should come faster than criticisms.

8. Love your family, your friends, your pets. They are your treasure, your chance at heaven on earth.

9. Laughter and a smile--every day.

10. Say your prayers.

Have a merry Christmas!

Baby, it's COLD outside!

I was in Massachusetts this weekend, and everywhere I went, people asked about the weather here. Apparently there was a little matter of a blizzard, and talk of temperatures that bottomed out at 27 below zero, without factoring in the wind chill. I suppose when it's 27 below as the absolute temperature, well, you're already cold.

I've given in and dug out some mittens. I'm like a little kid--I hate mittens and hats and shoes and mufflers and take them off as soon as I can--but there are times when even I have to give in to the weather. Fortunately I got a new scarf in Paris that's keeping me warm. And mittens that make me smile every time I put them on. When I bought them, the sales clerk told me that an old woman in Wisconsin knitted each pair by hand. Got them home, read the tag inside, and gee, you never know what you'll learn by reading the tag in your mittens. I didn't know there was a Nepal, Wisconsin!

But that's what the tag says: Made in Nepal.

Stay warm! And keep your mittens on.

Ah, Paris!

I have a wonderful excuse for not posting recently--I went to Paris! My good friend Lila and I went, and we stayed in a friend's flat in the Rive Gauche (Left Bank), only a block from the famous Cafe Les Deux Magots. I never realized how much I would love Paris. Actually, PARIS and LOVE are linked--and I think I know why.

The people were incredible. They were kind and lovely and gracious. I felt like my French with the flat midwestern accent must be painful to them, but they were helpful and encouraged me to try more.

And that's the first reason Paris and Love go together. Love is encouraging.

People walk together there. Mothers and daughters walk with arms looped. Young schoolchildren hold hands. Adults kiss--a kiss on each cheek upon meeting, perhaps, or the lingering kiss of lovers that never exceeds the bonds of good taste. Love is accepting, Love is near, Love reaches out and touches. Love isn't timid.

We noticed older couples strolling, arm in arm, and Lila pointed out that they listen to each other. Their eyes meet and hold during a conversation. It is truly give and take. Love listens.

The parents we saw with their children were wonderful. Their laughter, their delight in their children, was clear. We viewed parents who truly treasured their children. Love is respectful.

Our last night in Paris, we had just settled in at a favorite restaurant--on a very busy Saturday night--when we realized we'd forgotten to bring money (details, details) so we popped up to go back to the flat and get it. The waiter stopped us and asked us if we were coming back. I said I didn't know and he said.... (Get ready to drool, this is GOOD!)

You will return. If not tonight, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then next week. If not next week, then next month, but you will return.

That said it all. I will be back.
Love returns.